12 weeks in, I had my first night out without LTO on Saturday. I had the choice between going to an engagement party with the Husband, or a work do. Being very conscious that work has been very much out of sight, out of mind for the past 4 months, I chose the work do. It would be good to get back in there, I thought, catch up with colleagues and contacts, have a few drinks and maybe even a dance. And it was the industry's Event of the Year after all.
The Husband went to the engagement party alone, so my wonderful parents came and babysat. LTO behaved impeccably and was in bed by 6pm, clearly unfased that we were leaving him for the first time. This allowed me time to fret about how I looked and whether my dress was too tight. I'd bought the size 10 because it made me feel better, but I really should have got the 12. I'd managed to convince myself that not being able to move my arms higher than shoulder height wasn't going to be a problem. Really not sure how I thought that would ever work. Eventually I made it out of the house, encouraged by the Husband and parents that it fitted fine and that the buttons weren't going to pop off half way through the evening, but it really did feel very odd getting on the tube in a dress and heels, without a pushchair.
Even more odd was being back in an environment that I'm very well established in (I've worked in the industry for 10 years), but feeling very much like I'm not part of it at the moment. Hearing all the latest goings on really did bring it home that things simply go on without you as soon as you're not there. I'm now trying not to worry too much about how it's going to be when I go back.
I'm glad I went though. It was great to catch up with my contacts - many of whom I consider friends - although of course even though LTO wasn't with me in person, he was all I talked about. I've come to the conclusion that I won't have a truly baby-free night for quite some time, since even if they're not with you, it's all you have to talk about and all anyone asks you about!
I only managed a glass and a half of red and a dance to 2 songs, so it was hardly the raucous night I had planned. The thought of having to get up the next morning with a hangover was too much to bear, so my sensible hat was well and truly on. And it was lucky I hadn't had too much more as I was awoken at 4.30am. LTO has been sleeping through until 7am for the past 2 weeks so it was a bit of a shock to the system to be sat on the sofa in the wee hours again, praying that it would be a short feed. Mum had only managed to get 3oz down him at his dream feed - not quite the 6 or 7 I was hoping for! But you know what they say, Mum knows best...